Tucked under a fluffy blanket on the couch, fighting Sydney’s winter cold, my mind drifts to balmy days in Paris. Meeting and learning from some of the world’s finest Dominatrices, in a beautiful city in the middle of summer is an experience I’ll savor for a long time.

A month ago, I cruised the Seine amongst thirty beautiful, powerful women from all corners of the world. A three day event arranged by the fabulous Inanna Justice. Meticulously planned over 16 months, before coming into being. An event I felt called to attend, yet spent months assuming myself it was the right thing to do before finally making the decision, payment and booking flights to Paris in summertime . 

On the top deck, basking in golden sunset light, sipping champagne while passing by a sparkling Eiffel Tower I thought I have the best job in the world.  

I glanced around observing these unique women in their element, living their best lives, true to their authentic selves, and freed from societal conventions. Goosebumps spread across my skin thinking I’m one of them.

Let’s start with the beginning of this perfect day, when I was enjoying my morning coffee from Cafe Pimpin while soaking up some much needed sun on the balcony of my top floor Airbnb. After a week of gray, rainy twelve degree days in Norway, I welcomed Paris’ sunshine and thirty degrees. 

After trading denim shorts for a black pencil skirt to accompany my black silk top, I walked down six floors of dark wooden steps to take on the streets of Paris. Wandering past cute neighborhoods filled with boulangeries and brasseries, with my mind drifting back to the flambeed scallops I had last night. Arriving at my first destination, a kink shop to mingle with dominatrices. After getting to know each other while browsing through shiny latex, leather and lace creations, we embarked on a guided tour of Paris. 

Twenty dominatrices dressed in a variety of black and red ensembles, majestically strutting down the street must have been a delightful sight to those lucky enough to encounter us. Passing by old ornate buildings, brothels and the Notre Dame, to wandering through the first church I have set foot in for more than ten years, to end up at a castle surrounded by lavish gardens. 

On my way back, I stumbled upon a stunning bijouterie shop and had my slave from back home buy me jewels of my choice, a gorgeous art deco inspired ring and earrings with black frame and clear stones. I vibrated with excitement after my slave funded shopping spree, glancing at the ring being struck by rays of sunshine as I skipped across the bridge to the other side of the Seine. 

After walking for over thirty minutes, it was time for an impromptu lunch. I chose an authentic looking brasserie to enjoy a steak tartare accompanied by a glass of red wine. The perfect snack to fuel the rest of my walk back. 

Then, it was glam up time before a boat trip on the Seine. I picked a tight, knee length black leather dress with a see through black lace shirt on top, topped off with red shiny lips and nails. Femme fatale ready to mingle with other femme fatales. 

Before stepping on the boat filled with professional photographers to capture our special moments, I made the big decision to show my face for the first time after being a dominatrix for seven years. Why not, when I have no desire to quit my profession of passion and choice. A team of photographers assigned to document the dominatrices taking on Paris seemed too good of an opportunity to hide away from. So, I posed in the golden light of sunshine on the Seine, with the wind blowing my wild woman hair in all directions, embracing the me I was always meant to be.

The next day was dedicated to workshops and a kinky market. I made it to the first workshop of the day, role playing by the very talented Lady Vyra. Then, I got a last look of the fabulous Lady Syene’s performance in which she was wearing a stunning red sequin dress with a fully devoted sub at her disposal. I'd love to be the person on stage subjecting a devoted submissive to my magic. Perhaps it's time to plan a performance.

Next, I browsed stands of lucious latex, leather, toys and what caught my attention most, floggers in a variety of sizes and materials. I tested a soft suede golden colored flogger and a heavier rubber based red and black one on my skin and decided on the latter. Another Paris souvenir from my devoted slave. A hand made tool traveling all the way from Paris to Perth for our next session. How exciting!

After basking in much needed sunshine whilst enjoying a steak lunch at another cute brasserie, I returned to attend a workshop on knife play and fear by the fabulous Butcher. She led her female “victim” to the edge of excitement, eroticism, fear, pain and pleasure. It was a beautiful, sacred dance I felt honored to attend up close and personal. Butcher deviously and delightfully danced the edge of her knife across the soft skin and curves of her beautiful submissive. She even inserted the knife into her vagina. In a completely safe and consensual matter of course. What a delight to watch Butcher do her thing. I left feeling exhilarated and inspired. Maybe one day I’ll play that way? 

Infused with excitement, I stepped outside to soak up a few rays of sunshine. As I sat down, a submissive man who I had noticed staring at me from the corner of my eye sat down across from me. What do you want? He wanted to tell me how attracted he was to my Goddess-like appearance, demeanor and my perfect feet. He proceeded to ask if he could ever so humbly have a closer look at them. After I looked a him with a gaze saying who the fuck do you think you are? He bowed down at my feet declaring his inferiority and how he was born to serve women like me. In fact, he was born to serve me. Infused with excitement from the workshop and a renewed desire to dominate, I decided to let him serve my feet and had him give me a much needed foot massage. After walking 32468 steps the day before this was no joke. The French submissive looked like he won the jackpot in life as he removed my shoes and started to gently rub the soles of my feet, my heel and my toes. I told him to go harder and attend to every part of my foot and calves. After assessing his character and devotion, I decided to let him come back to my airbnb for an impromptu session. It had been weeks since my last session and my insides were burning with desire to put someone under my control after watching workshops and performances. Lucky sub being at the right place at the right time. 

On the third and final day, I woke up buzzing with excitement knowing that even after all the amazing things I experienced over the last two days, the best was saved for last; a gala full of performances topped off with a play party. After saying hello to Paris on the balcony, I took myself on a morning stroll and coffee hunt, since the coffee shops close to where my Airbnb didn’t open until 10:30am and I prefer being freshly caffeinated by 9am. I skipped through the narrow streets of Paris as it was slowly waking up, appreciating its beauty and majestic buildings. 

On the way back, with the most expensive almond cappuccino I ever obtained in hand, I stumbled upon a leather goods and jewlery design workshop selling hand made quality products in shop. Since presents for people back home was left to the end of my journey, this seemed perfect. In addition to a sunglass case, credit card holder and earrings for friends, I got myself a dark blue snake skin imitation wallet with golden details that smelled deliciously of fresh leather. I coudn’t keep myself from inhaling its scent as I made my way back. 

I dropped off the goods and went to get my hair blow dried. Luck smiled on me again as I had a hair dresser with excellent reviews as a neighbor and had booked in as soon as I arrived. I was excited to be getting my thick, long hair blow dried professionally for the first time. I felt a little bad for the frech lady about to embark on what ended up being a two hour process of washing, contitoning, blow drying and curling my ass lenght, super thick, natural blonde viking locks. She did an excellent job and I ended up looking like a mermaid princess (at least according to a friend back home, see photo below). 

To the gala, I slipped into (or fought intensely to pull up the back sipper) of a black sequinned dress with daring cleavage. I felt fierce enough to pull it off. I sat at a table with beautiful women in their finest attire, sipping champagne and niblbing on cured salmon. What a perfect start to a night that only got better and better. The first performance took my breath away as three figures clad in intricate black full body latex emerged onto the stage led by the one and only Latex Baroness. After showing off their goregous shiny ensemble onstage they walked amongst us arousing awe along their path.

Other performances followed to show off Domination and submission, dance, pole dance, latex and leather. So many talented, unique individuals offering their magnificence to the crowd. 

In the midst of performances, the lady of the night, Inanna Justice held a speech about her experience of 16 months organising the event. Her values of liberty, equity and sorority shone through her words as she spoke about this project so close to her heart. How lucky I am to be along for the ride guided by this special woman.

More champagne and nibbles followed before the space was transformed into our private dungeon for the night. I watched as men and women were carefully spread out on St. Andrews cross, on top of cages and bent over various implements and tortured in however way their Domina desired. Whips and floggers flourished in the hands of these woman as they stroke the flesh of their submissives. 

After watching these powerful women playing with their partners, I was excited for them and aching to play myself. Watching a beautiful multiple orgasm relasing whipping session really put me in the mood. Thankfully, I got the chance shortly after with a seasoned player. My hand spanked his ass cheeks eagerly making that delicious sound I love so much and one of the performers of the night came by and lent me her unique crop to play with. I felt euphoric from topping off such a wonderful couple days with some much desired play.

Once I had my dose of playtime, I packed up at a responsible hour and took my beaming self back to pack. I dove into my temporary bed, glowing from a mix of memories, endorphins and body shimmer. I felt fulfilled. 

I enjoyed a final glass of french rosé smiling from ear to ear, experiencing a sense of contentment with life I rarely feel. A 100% satisfaction with my life and who I am accompanied with a tingling sense of excitement about the future. A future of authenticity and exploration, with myself and my slaves. Of discovering new levels of freedom in domination and submission. Thank you Inanna Justice!

In June, I’m traveling to Europe to see family and friends in Oslo, attend a Femdom event in Paris and embark on a solo adventure. Three trips in one. To fulfill the totality that is me.  

First, a trip to my hometown, where a majority of friends and family are blissfully ignorant about what I do for a living. How much of who I am can I display in the present, amongst people of the past? Do I leave them the way they were, thinking I work with marketing in Sydney? Technically, a piece of the pie of truth. One that leaves out all other pieces and the crispy crust, but still, it’s a taste. I do at least as much marketing as in person sessions. So, I’m not lying. 

Does everyone in your life need to know everything about you? No, they don’t. We’re different people to different people and that’s fine. How much of me do my friends and family need to see? I meet these people no more than once a year, perhaps it’s best to leave them as they are. As they were. I’ve been away for 13 years, the past version of them is all I know too. At what point does “we know each other” become “we knew each other?” To them, I am who I was, even though I am so much more. The same is true in their case. 

I can count the number of people back home who know I’m a Dominatrix on one hand. The most important being my dad. It’s the first time I’m seeing my dad after telling him what I really do for a living. A conversation I postponed year after year until one night after a few too many champagnes I bursted out 

“Do you really think I’ve basically done nothing more than a bit of marketing here and there for the last 6 years. I’d go crazy. Do you not know me at all? In fact I’ve been building a business as a Dominatrix. Yes, that’s a sex worker and yes, I’m happy and it’s my business and my choice. And I do everything myself. Everything. So stop thinking I don’t do anything over here. Ok? Thanks.”

Dad now refers to me as a specialist therapist, which, well, isn’t a complete lie either. 

After two weeks of immersing myself in the city and people I grew up amongst, I jet off to Paris to fully embrace myself as a Dominatrix amongst like-minded powerful women. I’m already looking forward to sitting on the plane eager to break the chains of the past again. Free to express myself in fabulous attire and discuss topics dear to my heart with people who know exactly what I’m talking about. All while sipping champagne and exploring a beautiful city and its kinky treasures.  

Part three of my journey is yet to be determined. Once family and friends reunions are behind me and my Dominatrix self has roamed for days, what next? What part of me also needs to be free? Is it the beach babe, the history geek, the party girl or the fashionista’s time to play. Ideally all of them. Do I fly to Lisbon, Sicily, or Ibiza, places I haven’t visited yet? Or do I go back in time, to Malta, where I went to language school and my first club at the age of 14? Or Crete, where I worked as a bartender at 20? Or perhaps a new or previous client decides to whisk me away for a day? I’m open to that adventure. 

So many choices and each destination will fulfill different parts of me. Which one it will be still remains a mystery. A balanced life gives room for all parts of you to roam freely. That doesn’t mean all of me have to be set free everywhere I go all the time. 

There’s a time and place for everything. My provocative leather dress and rubber strapon is not appropriate for a friend reunion in a park in Oslo, but perfect for a kink party at an undisclosed location in Paris. And that’s perfectly fine. I’m still all of me. One piece of pie at a time and sometimes I’m the whole cake with extra frosting and finger licking good Cherries on top. Europe, I dare you to taste.

In the elevator on my way down, I took a final glance into the Christmas present bag I brought for my submissive, ensuring the anal plug, bottle of lube and a glove were hidden discreetly beneath a thin layer of gift paper. Before the lift doors opened on the bar level, I slipped the butt plug’s remote control into my red clutch and giggled to myself thinking of the power I’m about to have over my submissive’s ass. 

When the doors opened, I slipped out with the gift bag in one hand and clutch with Ass Thumpers remote control in the other. Striding seductively towards my submissive in black patent leather six inch stilettos. My subs eyes attached to me as I made my way to the large L-shaped leather couch he sat on, eagerly awaiting my re-emergence. On the glass table in front of him were two espresso martinis with a perfect layer of foam on top. I sat down, placing the gift bag between us and crossing my long, tanned legs. My sub handed me my drink, and I had a sip, licking the remnants of foam off my red, shiny lips, while looking directly into his eyes the entire time.

“I have something for you. Merry Christmas.” I said with a twinkle in my eye. No need to open it here and now, I’m sure you know what it is. Are you ready?”

“I think so,” He responded, smiling nervously.

“Let’s cheers to that,” I said and raised my glass. Clink. 

“And to first times and fists,” I said after completing our first toast. Clink. We sat in silence for a moment, sensing the electric tension between us expanding. 

“It’s time for you to go to the bathroom and try on your present. Or should I say try in. Haha. Go on. But first, get me a large glass of water. Now!” 

My sub got up and walked quickly to the bar, gift bag in hand. He asked the bartender for a large glass of ice water, making sure they filled it to the brim and brought it back to me, smiling nervously and shaking ever so slightly as he placed it on the table in front of me. 

“Good boy. Bathroom, now.”

I watched him stride towards the male restroom, taking a mental note of his movements, wondering if he’d be able to maintain the same gait with my gift inside him. 

A couple minutes later, my sub emerged from the bathroom, walking at a similar pace towards our table, with a nervous smile and rosy cheeks. As he walked closer to the table, I pressed the On button on the Ass Thumpers remote I concealed inside my hand.

His eyes jumped as he tried to compose himself and continue striding towards the table. I pressed the off button when he was halfway through sitting down slowly, all while smiling mischievously. Once my stuffed sub was seated, I grabbed my full glass of ice water, chugging it as I held his gaze. When the glass left my lips, I pressed the remote again while looking deeply into his eyes. I barely noticed any change in his composure, even though the vibrations on level one were so strong I could feel the whole seat vibrating. I slid my finger over to the + button, pressing it while lifting an eyebrow as I glanced deep into my subs eyes contemplating the depths of his asshole. The vibrations were now so strong I could feel them spreading over to my pussy. What a powerful toy.

I turned the vibration off again long enough for us to lift our glasses and make another toast for our reunion and what’s yet to come. The moment my sub put down his glass, I engaged his anal plug vibrations again, this time taking it up to level three. Feeling the vibrations spread all over the leather couch, wondering if anyone noticed the naughtiness we were up to.

“Let’s continue this upstairs,” I said before leaving my sub behind once more to change into more appropriate attire for what’s next. 

“Keep your phone close, I’ll only be a couple minutes.” I said before walking away feeling my subs eyes burning into my backside.

Upstairs, I slipped out of my stilettos and into 10 inch thigh high black patent leather boots. I grabbed the rubber collar in my hand and placed the gold metal leash around my neck resting close to my cleavage and the golden buttons on my bodysuit. I sat down on the chair in the corner, placing the collar on my leg right above the knee. Once comfortably seated, I texted my sub 

“I’m ready for you.” 

I wrote my master’s dissertation on the topic of the Dark Goddess and the Feminine Shadow. On this date, seven years ago, I moved to Australia with the intention of a six month break before continuing my PhD work on the same topic. I never went back.

Instead, I fell in love with Australia and put my PhD studies on hold indefinitely. I tried putting the Dark Goddess at the back of my mind. At the same time, I started working as a Dominatrix. Oblivious to how my choice of profession was a practical extension of my studies in a modern day setting. 

Instead of researching and writing, I became the Dark Goddess.

It’s not until I sit here today, seven years later, reflecting on the years I’ve called Australia home, that I can see how my choice of profession is clearly related to my studies. Sometimes, you need to take the time to sit down, reflect on how you got to where you are now, to realize how it's all connected. Even if it’s never occurred to you before.

Will I ever go back to my PhD dissertation? I might, but my thesis could be different. Perhaps it will be an inquiry into the Dark Goddess in Her modern guise. But, I’m in no rush to get back to academic writing. I’m having too much fun embracing more and more of the Dark Goddess in myself. 

Preparation 

Never undermine the power of preparation. Preparation is essential to create an optimal session for both parties. Before even contacting a Dominatrix, the client should read Her profile and website to see if they are a match. If the Dominatrix feels like their interests align and She wishes to take them on as a new client, the next step is to prepare for the session itself. 

In my case, when the session is scheduled, I prepare the space and tools that may be implemented for the particular session. I create an outline for the content, which can change if I feel it’s better to do things in a different order or include other elements. Before the client arrives, I shower, shave, moisturize, apply makeup and put on the outfit and heels I deem suitable for the occasion. Finally, I meditate to clear my head before the client arrives. 

I carefully prepare the session and my attire, and expect you to arrive prepared as well. Bring the donation in cash. Hand it over when we sit down to have a brief introductory chat. Tell me about any ailments or things I need to be aware of in regards to your current state of physical and mental being. Take a shower when I tell you to before the session. Wash yourself properly with the soap provided, everywhere. Especially your armpits, genitals and ass. Use the deodorant and mouthwash. They are not decor. Use them! Cleanliness is holiness. I can hear it if you turn the shower on for a couple of seconds only. Worse yet, I can smell it. I do not want to smell your mouth, armpits, dick or ass. If anal play or strap-on play is part of the session, make sure your ass is clean by using an anal douche before the session. 

Boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is extremely important in a Dominant/submissive relationship. 

Safe words(s) are important tools for the submissive to use when the Dominatrix is approaching their limits. 

Clearly communicate what the nature of your Domme/sub session and relationship involves and what is not a part of it. 

Balance 

Knowing when to be stern and when to be more flexible can be difficult to get right in the beginning of getting to know a new client. Once trust is established and the session dynamic explored, it is easier to feel into what times a hard approach is appropriate and when a more gentle approach is needed. 

Switching between being gentle and hard at the right times becomes like a dance once the session unfolds. The only way to find out is to bring 100% focus to the session, trust your gut and pay attention to the submissive’s state at all times. 

Uniqueness

No two clients or sessions will ever be the same. Each relationship between a Domme and a sub is unique, with its own dynamic and boundaries. There is no one-size-fits-all template to a perfect session. Attunement to the client, session content and space is essential to a successful session. 

Aftercare

Acknowledge that some time and care is usually required to transition from a session to life outside the cocoon of BDSM for both parties. The perfect formula for this can be different for each Domme and sub. Drinking water and having a warm shower is an easy and effective way to transition from subspace back to regular life. I like doing a post-session check-in and reflection, where the submissive is given space to discuss what the session felt like and what was good and bad.  

Personally, I drink water and have a particular meditation I do after the client exits. Then, I remove any generated garbage and carefully clean all the equipment thoroughly before taking a long hot shower. 

In summary, after 5 years working as a Dominatrix, preparation, boundaries, balance, uniqueness and aftercare are 5 aspects I find particularly important to my profession of choice.

I’m itching to spank asses and kick balls after a month away from play. I return to my chosen home with increased passion for my profession. Lucky slaves who see me when I get back to Sydney, recieves tons of built up energy.

As I traveled through my home country of Norway, I reviewed my life. I don’t belong in this cold country any more. My home is on the other side of the world. In Australia, where I stay warm and feel free to be me. Here, sex work is legal and my friends know what I do for a living and how much I love it.

Back in my home that is no longer my home, I don’t yet feel fully free to tell friends and family what I do. I am not ashamed. My life is simply so different from theirs, I believe it will be hard for them to comprehend what I do. Accepting it will be a whole different ball game. Especially if I tell them the kind of games I play with balls.

I cannot wait to return and take time to see clients in Sydney and across Australia. In the coming year, I am keeping Sydney as my base city. Touring across the country, to places I have visited before and adding on new cities will be my second priority. I encourage fly me to you requests for clients who wish to see me in their city of choice.

Sometimes, things become clearer from a distance. To me, how much I love life in Australia has been illuminated. I am fully dedicated to resume my life as a dominatrix in the country I proudly call my home.

Curious what a day in my life looks like? I love the diversity in my life as a dominatrix. No day is the same, although content can be similar and juggled around throughout the week. Important pieces in the puzzle of my existence are exercise, yoga, meditation, reading, social media management, text, call or video sessions, answering emails and texts, preparing content and live sessions. 

I stay strong in body and mind to be the best Domme I can be. Yoga and meditation makes me attuned to what arises in a session and able to adjust to the client. I build bodily strength to keep the submissive in their place on a physical level. This is particularly important in wrestling and discipline sessions. 

No client or session is like any other. In person sessions are built with diverse content and prepared for mentally and physically beforehand, to assure I am ready to give the client and myself the best possible experience. 

Text, call and video sessions require different preparation. First, I make sure I know what the client likes. Then, I plan a session with the elements the client requests with some room for improvisation and change if needed.

Online presence and social media management takes up a lot of my time. I got a website, directory profiles, and Twitter to maintain and update frequently. Preparing content in the form of Tweets, blogs, taking pictures and editing is a daily task. I enjoy it since it allows me to be creative and innovative and give people a glimpse of my life. 

The variety of experiences I have makes my life rich. Being a domme is a full time job and beyond. It is a lifestyle and I wouldn’t want any other way. 

Stepping across the threshold

As you step into the Dominatrix abode, you cross a threshold between ordinary life and fantasy. Ideally, stressors of daily life are left at the door as you relinquish all control to Her.

When I prepare a room specifically for our session, I step into my role as a Dominatrix and set up the necessary equipment and visualize step by step what lies ahead and potential variations in the session’s content. This way, I am already in the scene and prepared to welcome you in.

Alter ego

The Dominatrix is a powerful force that safely puts you in your place with her attire and demeanor. As a submissive, your task is to obey and worship Her. She makes the rules and you follow them.

Other times, in addition to being under the Dominatrix control, the submissive takes on a whole other personality. Examples include during pet play, adult baby play, and sissy sessions.

This alter ego has its own clothes and behavior, such as in sissy play when the submissive might have acquired a secret wardrobe for his alternate persona. Preparation for this type of play can begin before the session with for example the submissive sissy wearing women’s lingerie underneath his suit during the workday before seeing the Dominatrix.

Chastity

Another secret alteration to a submissive's everyday life is being locked in chastity and giving the Dominatrix the key. Giving Her full control of your manhood can be surprisingly freeing. You no longer need to think about when your next release will be. It is all in Her hands.

We keep a secret to the outside world on both ends of our agreement. You keep the chastity device under your pants and I keep the key on my necklace.

Suitcase of Secrets

Whenever I do an outcall or go on tour, I carry a big bag of secrets with me. Paddles, floggers, crops, restraints, cuffs, tape, latex, leather, lingerie, boots, shoes, lube, strapons, condoms and more fill up a rather substantially sized bag or suitcase as I venture to my destination.

I was once stopped by security at an airport in Norway when they pulled a collar and metal leash out of my carry-on and held it up, showing it intentionally to all travelers behind me saying “what is this?” I looked at them with annoyance and answered “it is a collar and leash, it is pretty clear to me.” They carefully put it back in my suitcase and let me go.

I like keeping my secrets in the bag until I reach my destination. I am sure plenty of Uber drivers and hotel staff have pondered the size and weight of my luggage. I am carrying a whole experience in my suitcase, of course it is heavy as hell.

Freedom in Secrecy

Having a secret component of life can feel liberating. You know there is a space you can enter where you are completely free from the demands of the outside world.

What happens during the time you spend with a Dominatrix largely remains a secret whether you are open to people in your life about being into BDSM or not. A session gives both the submissive and the Dominatrix a well of memories to visit when a break from the mundane is desired.

Whether you are walking through an airport with a suitcase filled to the brim with BDSM gear, or wearing women’s lingerie underneath your suit at a work meeting, you carry a bit of your secret life with you. Just enough to add an extra spark to your eyes.

1. Complete Control 

Nothing excites me more than knowing you are fully at my mercy. 100% devoted to serving me. Your pain and pleasure lies in my hands and I thrive from making the most of it.

2. Cock and Ball Torture

I absolutely love playing with a subs cock and balls. Especially inflicting pain with my hands; squeezing your balls, and using my nails on the head of your cock. Ballbusting using my feet to kick your balls is another favourite.

3. Pegging

I love the change of power dynamics when I put on my strap-on and get ready to fuck. I enjoy fucking first timers as much as more experienced men. Sensual and slow or hard and fast, pegging makes me feel strong, excited and empowered.

4. Foot worship

A submissive fully devoted to my feet that takes his time to give me a proper foot massage and then kisses and licks every part of my feet. After this, I step on his face and make him fully immerse himself in my feet. 

5. Tease and Denial

I love using my sensuality and curves to make you crave for me. Then, perhaps I’ll play with you just a little, before teasing you with my feminine beauty, making you beg for more.