Europe: Femdom, Freedom, Family and Friends

In June, I’m traveling to Europe to see family and friends in Oslo, attend a Femdom event in Paris and embark on a solo adventure. Three trips in one. To fulfill the totality that is me.  

First, a trip to my hometown, where a majority of friends and family are blissfully ignorant about what I do for a living. How much of who I am can I display in the present, amongst people of the past? Do I leave them the way they were, thinking I work with marketing in Sydney? Technically, a piece of the pie of truth. One that leaves out all other pieces and the crispy crust, but still, it’s a taste. I do at least as much marketing as in person sessions. So, I’m not lying. 

Does everyone in your life need to know everything about you? No, they don’t. We’re different people to different people and that’s fine. How much of me do my friends and family need to see? I meet these people no more than once a year, perhaps it’s best to leave them as they are. As they were. I’ve been away for 13 years, the past version of them is all I know too. At what point does “we know each other” become “we knew each other?” To them, I am who I was, even though I am so much more. The same is true in their case. 

I can count the number of people back home who know I’m a Dominatrix on one hand. The most important being my dad. It’s the first time I’m seeing my dad after telling him what I really do for a living. A conversation I postponed year after year until one night after a few too many champagnes I bursted out 

“Do you really think I’ve basically done nothing more than a bit of marketing here and there for the last 6 years. I’d go crazy. Do you not know me at all? In fact I’ve been building a business as a Dominatrix. Yes, that’s a sex worker and yes, I’m happy and it’s my business and my choice. And I do everything myself. Everything. So stop thinking I don’t do anything over here. Ok? Thanks.”

Dad now refers to me as a specialist therapist, which, well, isn’t a complete lie either. 

After two weeks of immersing myself in the city and people I grew up amongst, I jet off to Paris to fully embrace myself as a Dominatrix amongst like-minded powerful women. I’m already looking forward to sitting on the plane eager to break the chains of the past again. Free to express myself in fabulous attire and discuss topics dear to my heart with people who know exactly what I’m talking about. All while sipping champagne and exploring a beautiful city and its kinky treasures.  

Part three of my journey is yet to be determined. Once family and friends reunions are behind me and my Dominatrix self has roamed for days, what next? What part of me also needs to be free? Is it the beach babe, the history geek, the party girl or the fashionista’s time to play. Ideally all of them. Do I fly to Lisbon, Sicily, or Ibiza, places I haven’t visited yet? Or do I go back in time, to Malta, where I went to language school and my first club at the age of 14? Or Crete, where I worked as a bartender at 20? Or perhaps a new or previous client decides to whisk me away for a day? I’m open to that adventure. 

So many choices and each destination will fulfill different parts of me. Which one it will be still remains a mystery. A balanced life gives room for all parts of you to roam freely. That doesn’t mean all of me have to be set free everywhere I go all the time. 

There’s a time and place for everything. My provocative leather dress and rubber strapon is not appropriate for a friend reunion in a park in Oslo, but perfect for a kink party at an undisclosed location in Paris. And that’s perfectly fine. I’m still all of me. One piece of pie at a time and sometimes I’m the whole cake with extra frosting and finger licking good Cherries on top. Europe, I dare you to taste.