I'm a compulsive planner and a spontaneous succubus. Sounds like a contradiction? It's not. It fuels the complexity that is me to be simultaneously contained and free. 

Extended Sessions is where my devious mind really gets to shine. Planning a session that stretches over hours fuels my creativity and passion. More time means more opportunities to build things up gradually and explore a variety of tantalizing toys. 

My plans are the frame I paint within. The colors are my notes and equipment. Sometimes, I draw the planned picture within co-designed boundaries. Other times, I draw on the frame itself. Occasionally, I pick colors I haven't painted with before and find they mix perfectly with what's already on paper. On rare and wonderful occasions, I forget about the frame all together and freely flow far outside any preconceived form. Guided by the magic wand of clear communication and consent.

The elements of kink I adore are as varied as the parts that constitute the complex conglomerate that is me. My toolbox is as large as a garage. Cuffs, chains and collars bring it on. Strapon, spit and smothering, yes please. Body and foot worship, delicious. Humiliation and degradation, let my devious mind flow. The touch of leather on my fingertips, divine!   

The possibilities are endless. You can even FMTY (fly me to you) to where you are and let me design a session in a place you feel comfortable. Or you could fly yourself to me and I’ll introduce you to the best of my world. 

We can do a public activity as part of the session. Sharing a meal, drink or experience is a great way to get to know each other before entering the world of playtime. Different settings could inspire and kick off the rest of the session if appropriate to the theme.

Other examples include but are not limited to anything other than my imagination. It could be a shopping spree, gym, or sauna. A sex toy shop or a movie theater. The beach. The nude beach. All the while you’re wearing something more or less secret in public such as lingerie underneath your clothes, a buttplug, vibrating buttplug or anal hook, or you could be fully dressed up in your finest feminine attire. 

An extended session provides time and space for a range of activities or more in depth focus on and unravelling of one element. It gives me more time to build things up and for us to wind down together after a session. Allowing you to gradually drift out of subspace and into my aftercare. Giving us time to reflect on our experience together and potentially plan what can be explored next time we meet.

To date, my longest sessions have been 6 hours. I’ve had about five of these sessions with the same lucky sub. Every time we go deeper and deeper and get pleasantly lost in a bubble of pain and pleasure. Each time we go further into experiences we could only envision in the past. It's pure magic how much you can grow together in a longer session.

Sessions are limited only to our imaginations. Longer play times bring out more of my desires and devious mind. More places to play, more opportunities to have my way. Extended time for you to release control to me and become free. How long would you like to play next?

In less than a minute, my sub carefully opened the door.

“Close the door behind you. Get down on your knees. Slowly crawl over here.” I said while crossing one boot clad leg over the other. 

My sub happily obeyed the order and immediately dropped down to his knees and crawled on all fours towards me. 

“That’s it. Come closer.” I stopped him when his head came within an inch of my lap. I moved my fingers through his hair and pulled him closer, whispering in his ear 

“Are you ready to submit all control to me?”

“Yes, mistress.”

I proceeded to place the rubber collar around his neck and attached the leash to it. Leaning back into the chair holding the leash in one hand, placing one of my boots on his shoulder.

“Worship my boot slave.”

My slave held the both gently in his hands while kissing and licking it all around. 

“Open your mouth. Suck the heel like you would suck a cock.”

I watched as my slave sucked in the bottom half of my heel first, gradually putting more and more of the heel in his mouth until he swallowed the whole heel deep down his throat.

“Good boy. Deep throat that for mistress.”

I relished in the power to make my sub enjoy deep throating a 10 inch heel for me. 

“Stop. Come closer. Open your mouth.” I pulled my sub by the hair on the back of his head and stood up with my mouth close to his, releasing a thin thread of spit towards his open mouth. 

“Close. Swallow.” 

After watching my sub swallow and open his mouth wide again I spat into his mouth one more time, making sure it was more spit this time. Then, I stood up.

“Now, get us something to drink.” I said while pulling his leash and directing him towards the fridge hidden inside a glass cupboard.

He opened the fridge to reveal two bottles of Veuve Cliquot. 

“Open one and fill up two glasses. Don’t spill.” 

My sub handed me one of the glasses and we had a quick cheer for the rest of the night, before he put his glass to his lips ready to drink.

“Stop. Put the glass down. Did I say you could drink?”

“No, Mistress.”

“Get down on your knees. Open your mouth. Wide.”

I had one sip of the delicious bubbles, swallowing it slowly, rolling the liquid around my mouth while my sub eagerly awaited his. I swallowed. Then, I filled up my mouth fully with the sparkling liquid, twirling it around my mouth before spitting it slowly into my sub’s mouth.

“Swallow.”

“Thank you Mistress.” He said looking up at me with a glazed, devoted look in his eyes.

I petted his head for a moment, before pulling him close.

“Don’t do anything without my permission, understood?” I whispered in his ear.

“Yes, Mistress.”

I released my sub from his leash and told him to slowly strip off his pants. He clumsily started unbuttoning his pants. Once I told him to make it more sexy, he moved his hips from side to side while wiggling his way out of the jeans. I had another sip of the champagne while he revealed a pair of gray briefs with an obvious wet spot where the head of his erect penis was ready to burst out. 

“Are you dripping already? Haha. Get down on your knees and crawl here.” Remove my boots, one at a time.”

My sub tried removing the first boot by biting on the zipper, which did not move at all and left me laughing at his effort. I stopped him in his ridiculous attempt and made him use his hands instead. Once both boots were removed to reveal my transparent black stockings, I placed my feet on his face, covering every part of it. Allowing him to fully immerse himself in my feet. Once I allowed him to breathe air again, he asked if he could remove my stockings. A request I declined. Patience is a virtue, slave. 

In the elevator on my way down, I took a final glance into the Christmas present bag I brought for my submissive, ensuring the anal plug, bottle of lube and a glove were hidden discreetly beneath a thin layer of gift paper. Before the lift doors opened on the bar level, I slipped the butt plug’s remote control into my red clutch and giggled to myself thinking of the power I’m about to have over my submissive’s ass. 

When the doors opened, I slipped out with the gift bag in one hand and clutch with Ass Thumpers remote control in the other. Striding seductively towards my submissive in black patent leather six inch stilettos. My subs eyes attached to me as I made my way to the large L-shaped leather couch he sat on, eagerly awaiting my re-emergence. On the glass table in front of him were two espresso martinis with a perfect layer of foam on top. I sat down, placing the gift bag between us and crossing my long, tanned legs. My sub handed me my drink, and I had a sip, licking the remnants of foam off my red, shiny lips, while looking directly into his eyes the entire time.

“I have something for you. Merry Christmas.” I said with a twinkle in my eye. No need to open it here and now, I’m sure you know what it is. Are you ready?”

“I think so,” He responded, smiling nervously.

“Let’s cheers to that,” I said and raised my glass. Clink. 

“And to first times and fists,” I said after completing our first toast. Clink. We sat in silence for a moment, sensing the electric tension between us expanding. 

“It’s time for you to go to the bathroom and try on your present. Or should I say try in. Haha. Go on. But first, get me a large glass of water. Now!” 

My sub got up and walked quickly to the bar, gift bag in hand. He asked the bartender for a large glass of ice water, making sure they filled it to the brim and brought it back to me, smiling nervously and shaking ever so slightly as he placed it on the table in front of me. 

“Good boy. Bathroom, now.”

I watched him stride towards the male restroom, taking a mental note of his movements, wondering if he’d be able to maintain the same gait with my gift inside him. 

A couple minutes later, my sub emerged from the bathroom, walking at a similar pace towards our table, with a nervous smile and rosy cheeks. As he walked closer to the table, I pressed the On button on the Ass Thumpers remote I concealed inside my hand.

His eyes jumped as he tried to compose himself and continue striding towards the table. I pressed the off button when he was halfway through sitting down slowly, all while smiling mischievously. Once my stuffed sub was seated, I grabbed my full glass of ice water, chugging it as I held his gaze. When the glass left my lips, I pressed the remote again while looking deeply into his eyes. I barely noticed any change in his composure, even though the vibrations on level one were so strong I could feel the whole seat vibrating. I slid my finger over to the + button, pressing it while lifting an eyebrow as I glanced deep into my subs eyes contemplating the depths of his asshole. The vibrations were now so strong I could feel them spreading over to my pussy. What a powerful toy.

I turned the vibration off again long enough for us to lift our glasses and make another toast for our reunion and what’s yet to come. The moment my sub put down his glass, I engaged his anal plug vibrations again, this time taking it up to level three. Feeling the vibrations spread all over the leather couch, wondering if anyone noticed the naughtiness we were up to.

“Let’s continue this upstairs,” I said before leaving my sub behind once more to change into more appropriate attire for what’s next. 

“Keep your phone close, I’ll only be a couple minutes.” I said before walking away feeling my subs eyes burning into my backside.

Upstairs, I slipped out of my stilettos and into 10 inch thigh high black patent leather boots. I grabbed the rubber collar in my hand and placed the gold metal leash around my neck resting close to my cleavage and the golden buttons on my bodysuit. I sat down on the chair in the corner, placing the collar on my leg right above the knee. Once comfortably seated, I texted my sub 

“I’m ready for you.” 

Remote controlled anal plug in public, caning, and fisting made up my first session of the year. All things my submissive experienced for the first time with me. I love being someone's first. Add on the delights of boot, shoe and foot worship, spanking and pegging with a big black cock, washed down with a golden bath and you got the recipe for a perfect evening. 

I walked into the dimly lit lobby of an upscale Sydney hotel wearing black patent leather stilettos accentuating my long tanned legs, leading up to a leather mini skirt showing off my fit, round booty. My plump breasts supported by a black leather bra discreetly peeking out of a black silk top. Around my neck a silver snake necklace adorned with black, gray and red stones rested close to my cleavage. The femme fatale has arrived. 

In my right hand I rolled a black, shiny suitcase filled to the brim with toys to fulfill my own and any man's kinkiest fantasies. The contents of it were specifically tailored and partially funded by the submissive standing up in admiration as I click-clacked my way inside to give him a hug and hand over the suitcase while he slipped a keycard into my hand. We said our hellos with naughty twinkles in our eyes and an electrical tension of expectation flowing between us. My sub walked me to the elevator, which I entered and left him behind, eagerly awaiting the next step of our adventure. Let the playtime begin. 

When I opened the door to the spacious room, the first thing I noticed was the large bathtub in the middle of the space, as if it was designed to be the centerpiece. I gotta put that to proper use. The bathtub was separated from the rest of the room by a glass wall. I had many things planned for our session, but I could not resist slipping out a flesh colored dildo from my suitcase the moment I opened it, slamming its suction cup bottom onto the glass in the height of my submissive’s mouth. Suck on that bitch.

I continued unpacking one side of my suitcase of sin, placing various BDSM items across the room. Chains around the bed poles, check. Collar and leash, leg cuffs, wrist cuffs check. Dildos in increasing sizes, leading up to a 10 inch pink dildo, check. BBC, my second skin black leather strapon with 8 inch dildo, check. Extra clean with antibacterial toy cleaner, check. Paddle, flogger and cane check. Mouth gag with attached dildo, check. I grinned as I filled up the night stand with anal lube, regular lube, regular condoms, large condoms, extra large condoms. Then, I made a fist with my left hand measuring it against PBC (pink, big cock) and a fist sized dildo. The real thing is just a tad bigger, he can take it for me. I’ll go slowly. 

I zipped open the second side of my suitcase to reveal three sets of lingerie, one bodysuit, black stockings, and black knee high patent leather boots. The lingerie and bodysuit were all presents from the devoted sub for various occasions, birthday, christmas, new years and just because I’d look hot in it. Which I do. I removed my silk top and leather skirt to reveal a classic thong and bra in black leather. I slipped into a black mesh bodysuit, buttoning up close to 20 golden buttons on top of my lingerie, making my cleavage pop. I love teasing you through multiple layers. 

I pulled the black stockings up to the top of my thighs, looking back in the mirror to adjust the black seam to be in the middle of my long leg, before slipping back into my leather mini skirt and placing my feet into stilettos. I texted my submissive to order me an espresso martini, considered peeing, but decided to save the precious drops for him. Then, I put on a layer of shiny red lipstick in the bathroom mirror. The last thing I did before leaving the room was glance at the big bathtub, the chains around the bed poles, BBC and PBC, grinning mischievously to myself. In my hand I held a remote control labelled Ass Thumpers, caressing the ‘on’ button beneath my thumb. We’re in for the night of our lives. 

Preparation 

Never undermine the power of preparation. Preparation is essential to create an optimal session for both parties. Before even contacting a Dominatrix, the client should read Her profile and website to see if they are a match. If the Dominatrix feels like their interests align and She wishes to take them on as a new client, the next step is to prepare for the session itself. 

In my case, when the session is scheduled, I prepare the space and tools that may be implemented for the particular session. I create an outline for the content, which can change if I feel it’s better to do things in a different order or include other elements. Before the client arrives, I shower, shave, moisturize, apply makeup and put on the outfit and heels I deem suitable for the occasion. Finally, I meditate to clear my head before the client arrives. 

I carefully prepare the session and my attire, and expect you to arrive prepared as well. Bring the donation in cash. Hand it over when we sit down to have a brief introductory chat. Tell me about any ailments or things I need to be aware of in regards to your current state of physical and mental being. Take a shower when I tell you to before the session. Wash yourself properly with the soap provided, everywhere. Especially your armpits, genitals and ass. Use the deodorant and mouthwash. They are not decor. Use them! Cleanliness is holiness. I can hear it if you turn the shower on for a couple of seconds only. Worse yet, I can smell it. I do not want to smell your mouth, armpits, dick or ass. If anal play or strap-on play is part of the session, make sure your ass is clean by using an anal douche before the session. 

Boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is extremely important in a Dominant/submissive relationship. 

Safe words(s) are important tools for the submissive to use when the Dominatrix is approaching their limits. 

Clearly communicate what the nature of your Domme/sub session and relationship involves and what is not a part of it. 

Balance 

Knowing when to be stern and when to be more flexible can be difficult to get right in the beginning of getting to know a new client. Once trust is established and the session dynamic explored, it is easier to feel into what times a hard approach is appropriate and when a more gentle approach is needed. 

Switching between being gentle and hard at the right times becomes like a dance once the session unfolds. The only way to find out is to bring 100% focus to the session, trust your gut and pay attention to the submissive’s state at all times. 

Uniqueness

No two clients or sessions will ever be the same. Each relationship between a Domme and a sub is unique, with its own dynamic and boundaries. There is no one-size-fits-all template to a perfect session. Attunement to the client, session content and space is essential to a successful session. 

Aftercare

Acknowledge that some time and care is usually required to transition from a session to life outside the cocoon of BDSM for both parties. The perfect formula for this can be different for each Domme and sub. Drinking water and having a warm shower is an easy and effective way to transition from subspace back to regular life. I like doing a post-session check-in and reflection, where the submissive is given space to discuss what the session felt like and what was good and bad.  

Personally, I drink water and have a particular meditation I do after the client exits. Then, I remove any generated garbage and carefully clean all the equipment thoroughly before taking a long hot shower. 

In summary, after 5 years working as a Dominatrix, preparation, boundaries, balance, uniqueness and aftercare are 5 aspects I find particularly important to my profession of choice.

My first memory of being dominant is from when I was six years old and instructed a group of local boys to build a treehouse for me. I told them what pieces of wood to use and what I wanted it to look like. If they were being lazy, I yelled at them to keep working and threatened to hit them with a tree branch if they disobeyed. It came naturally to me. 

My second BDSM related memory is from when I was thirteen, when my girlfriend and I hung out by the gas station and an older guy asked us to take our shoes and socks off and play with our feet. He offered us $30 to do so. We thought he was a total creep and ran away. Even though we discarded his offer, the fact that my feet could be profitable stuck to the back of mind.  

My third memory also involves foot fetish. I was fifteen and a rumor spread that a dude in the other class texted girls on messenger asking to buy their used socks. I did not believe it until he asked me himself. I still did not believe him and made him confirm in person he was the one sending the messages. When he did, he also asked if I could tie him to a tree in the forest and leave him there overnight. I thought he was crazy. 

Fast forward ten years, and I'm living in San Francisco being introduced to the Armory and a group of kinksters. I feel like I entered this magical world I always dreamed existed. The energy, the toys, the people, the power exchanges. It felt like a homecoming. 

With this post, I wish to inspire you to look within yourself and reflect on your first BDSM related memories. In this journey of life, it can be valuable to go back to the origins of whatever fantasies we are currently preoccupied with and embrace these first sparks of interest. 

Digital domination is increasingly popular these days when people are confined to their home. Sessions come in many forms such as text, call, video call and clips. A digital session gives the submissive a safe space to explore their kinks and the dominatrix to understand their demeanor and desires. This type of play can be a full BDSM experience in itself. 

Another benefit with digital sessions is that they give both the dominatrix and the submissive insights on how to prepare for the best possible session when they meet in the flesh. When used between in person sessions, text, call and video sessions keep up the momentum between the dominatrix and the submissive. In the digital playspace, they can reflect on a previous playtime, plan future explorations, and conduct it as an in person session.

Personally, I used to prefer in person sessions since they let you tune in to and play with the submissive’s energy, body and mind in a way digital sessions fall short of. However, since I had to switch to digital sessions during lockdowns, I have grown to like them more and more. 

Since I love writing, being able to place a submissive in a state of complete devotion through the written word gives me a sense of power and arousal. A text session opens up a creative space where we can explore kinks in depth and build a connection. 

Digital sessions can be exhilarating and liberating, as they allow us to uncover our desires without boundaries that might hold us back in person, such as shyness. Once certain aspects of one’s submission have been explored in a digital space, it can give a deeper understanding of one’s kinks and make it easier to live out a fantasy in real life.

Stepping across the threshold

As you step into the Dominatrix abode, you cross a threshold between ordinary life and fantasy. Ideally, stressors of daily life are left at the door as you relinquish all control to Her.

When I prepare a room specifically for our session, I step into my role as a Dominatrix and set up the necessary equipment and visualize step by step what lies ahead and potential variations in the session’s content. This way, I am already in the scene and prepared to welcome you in.

Alter ego

The Dominatrix is a powerful force that safely puts you in your place with her attire and demeanor. As a submissive, your task is to obey and worship Her. She makes the rules and you follow them.

Other times, in addition to being under the Dominatrix control, the submissive takes on a whole other personality. Examples include during pet play, adult baby play, and sissy sessions.

This alter ego has its own clothes and behavior, such as in sissy play when the submissive might have acquired a secret wardrobe for his alternate persona. Preparation for this type of play can begin before the session with for example the submissive sissy wearing women’s lingerie underneath his suit during the workday before seeing the Dominatrix.

Chastity

Another secret alteration to a submissive's everyday life is being locked in chastity and giving the Dominatrix the key. Giving Her full control of your manhood can be surprisingly freeing. You no longer need to think about when your next release will be. It is all in Her hands.

We keep a secret to the outside world on both ends of our agreement. You keep the chastity device under your pants and I keep the key on my necklace.

Suitcase of Secrets

Whenever I do an outcall or go on tour, I carry a big bag of secrets with me. Paddles, floggers, crops, restraints, cuffs, tape, latex, leather, lingerie, boots, shoes, lube, strapons, condoms and more fill up a rather substantially sized bag or suitcase as I venture to my destination.

I was once stopped by security at an airport in Norway when they pulled a collar and metal leash out of my carry-on and held it up, showing it intentionally to all travelers behind me saying “what is this?” I looked at them with annoyance and answered “it is a collar and leash, it is pretty clear to me.” They carefully put it back in my suitcase and let me go.

I like keeping my secrets in the bag until I reach my destination. I am sure plenty of Uber drivers and hotel staff have pondered the size and weight of my luggage. I am carrying a whole experience in my suitcase, of course it is heavy as hell.

Freedom in Secrecy

Having a secret component of life can feel liberating. You know there is a space you can enter where you are completely free from the demands of the outside world.

What happens during the time you spend with a Dominatrix largely remains a secret whether you are open to people in your life about being into BDSM or not. A session gives both the submissive and the Dominatrix a well of memories to visit when a break from the mundane is desired.

Whether you are walking through an airport with a suitcase filled to the brim with BDSM gear, or wearing women’s lingerie underneath your suit at a work meeting, you carry a bit of your secret life with you. Just enough to add an extra spark to your eyes.

My heart beat faster as I surrendered to his touch. I released all desire to resist as he put cuffs around my wrists and locked my arms together behind my back. I willingly let him take control over me, the untamable one.

A fresh awareness of body and breath arose as I was liberated from performing. He gently threw me down on the couch face down. His soft, yet firm hands caressed my butt before he spanked me once on each cheek. Is that all you got? The moment it slipped out of me, I both regretted saying such and felt an extreme excitement for what came next. He slapped my right buttcheek so hard it gave off a perfect spanking sound. The arousing pain stripped my mind from thoughts as my body became all sensation. 

I quickly snapped out of it as my perfectionist self came back to hold the reigns of my brain. How was it that this newbie gave off a better spanking sound on my ass than I do on others? Perhaps my booty just give off a good sound? Dammit, just as easy as I lost control, my mind was ready to take it back. I told my first dominant to release me, and that I had enough for the first time. Inside, I craved for more. 

The exhilaration I felt from releasing control infused me with new excitement for life and work. Now, I know what it’s like not to think or plan or hold space. Unaware of what will happen next. Aware only of sensations. Outside the mind, in the field of the body, where pleasure and pain become one. 

When pleasure and pain meets surrender and trust there are no limits to the experiences ready to be explored. The immense rush of playing in the spectrum of pleasure and pain is unparalleled. Balancing on an edge so fine it takes undivided attention and skill to thread right.

Then, how does one find the right partner and guide into such a potentially dangerous and delightful world? In my experience, it can sometimes be easier to explore fantasies involving the combination of pleasure and pain with a professional. At least until one finds a like minded individual to play with, where the necessary trust has been built.

I remember dragging a very uncomfortable past lover through the streets of Amsterdam’s red light district into sex shops practically begging him to pick a flogger and paddle for us to play with. Instead of agreeing to my request, he looked away and got more and more visibly uncomfortable. In the end, I gave up. This was obviously my thing, not his, and where lies the pleasure in demanding your partner give you pain when it’s nothing but a pain to them?

Many lovers and clients later, I thrive from allowing people to live out their fantasies of pleasure and pain within the safe container of my incall. If you crave such experiences and your partner does not, there is nothing wrong with you or even with your relationship. But as a firm believer in fulfilling one's desires and living in accordance to one's true nature, I highly recommend exploring it anyway.

The rush I get both from being a dominant and a submissive makes me feel more alive and ready to take on any challenges the world may face me with. In addition, if I’m ever bored, I have a well of memories to draw from. So, if you ever catch me with a cheeky grin on the 5pm train, you can bet my mind is drifting somewhere into a past encounter in between pleasure and pain.